I do the commute on the Monday to Friday gravy train like most
people, Tom just hops on his scooter and zips to work in minutes, but I like
along with all the other drones, have to get on the train and tube in the morning
and make my way to work. The ordeal is lessened by having to set off at just before
7 o’clock, and the train not being too busy. For all the people who take the
17:50 train or should I say veal crate cattle truck, from Waterloo to Woking
every day, I doth my cap to you, that was a truly horrendous experience, forced
to be more intimate with a stranger, without even being bought a drink, then I
would ever want to be again!
Once in Woking, it was a 5 minute cab ride to Kingfield Stadium, another ground ticked off the list of Game Of Thrones sounding
football grounds, the home of Woking FC, the venue for tonight’s Surrey Senior
Cup Final, Metropolitan Police FC (MP) Vs Merstham FC (MFC).
Once through the turnstile, £10 less in my wallet, and £2 less
change in my pocket for entrance and a programme, and once past the burger van,
with a few people tucking into Flintstone size portions of chips, we were greeted
by perhaps one of the strangest football grounds we had ever been to.
It was like it was half finished, like someone had run out
of money and could not afford to finish it. The end of the ground we came in
was what you would expect from a Conference side ground, a covered terrace
behind one goal, then a long uncovered terrace of a few steps along one side of
the goal, opposite them were two barn like, covered all seated stands, one with
a black corrugated roof, and one with a green one.
All of these things you might think are pretty run of the
mill, what was wasn’t, and what was very out of keeping with the rest of the
ground was the stand behind the goal at the far end of the ground. Imagine one
of the stands of the Britannia stadium had been teleported from Staffordshire
to Surrey, a huge modern all seated stand with bright red seats, and white ones
making out WFC. Due to the expected numbers tonight it was closed, and was
quite unnerving and atmosphere sapping as it loomed over everyone.
The players warmed up on the slick wet pitch, and it was a blustery
overcast evening, with ominous clouds which threatened rain at any minute. Tom
returned from the burger van with a £5 double burger, and quickly demolished
it. I looked on in a mixture of disgust and awe.
The black and yellow of MFC is a lot more on show than the
blue of MP, and the MFC fans seemed to be there in much better numbers. Perhaps
the buzz of their recent playoff final victory, and the chance of crowning the
season with another piece of silverware, had drawn out the fans on this far
from pleasant evening.
A strange choice of euro dance music, with Sam and the Womp “Bom,
Bom” my personal favourite and the banging of white inflatable sticks, which
have been handed out to children on their way in, are every so often drowned
out by the announcer on the PA telling you where you can and can’t stand this evening.
The players come out of the stand directly behind the clear Perspex
dug outs, two red Calour gas flags whip around in the high wind. There are a
high proportion of men in blazers here tonight, with lanyards around their
necks, the who’s who of the surrey FA are out in force. The gaps in the wooden
slatted tunnel, means you can catch a glimpse of the players getting ready to
come out. Four kids, two
each in the stripes of each team lead out the players who line up, and shake the hands of a procession of blazered men, then each other’s.
each in the stripes of each team lead out the players who line up, and shake the hands of a procession of blazered men, then each other’s.
MP carry out a few
sprint exercises on the side lines and look very focused on the game ahead
We take up position behind the goal, where the majority of
MFC have taken up residence in front of a large yellow and black flag announcing
“WE ARE MERSTHAM FC”, and are doing everything they can to create a bit of
atmosphere, on what is after all a cup final.
MFC kick off in all red, and MP in an appropriate shade of
dark blue, the grey clouds above start to drizzle and things are under way.
The first couple of chances go to MP and its pretty much one
way traffic for the rest of the half. The gulf in skill is clear from the get
go, and MP are calmer in possession, have a much better touch, and threaten MFC
straight away. Two crosses one from the right, and one from the left cause
problems in the MFC box. One is missed by the player sliding in, and the other
finds the player at the back post, but he heads it straight into the keeper’s
hands.
The game is scrappy, and one sided, but the MFC fans are
making a racket and are doing all they can to lift, what is a bit of a flat
occasion. One fan, perhaps in his 60’s walks to the edge of the pitch, and
bangs on the hoarding, the fans in the stand respond to his rhythmical banging,
“MERSTHAM”.
A burly security guard in a long yellow high vis jacket, starts
to walk towards the man in his 60’s and he scurries back into the crowd. The
majority of them chant at the guard, “we’re not in a library”, but like water
off a ducks back, he walks back to lean against his post, and is totally unaffected
by the barracking of the mob.
A man walks along the terrace, holding up programs like an
usher at the theatre, “£2 for a good read”.
As soon as the man in his 60’s had disappeared in to the
crowd, he emerges again, and at the moment he is the most entertaining thing.
This time, to avoid the wrath of the sentry for standing where he shouldn’t, he
decides to hop up and down, as he bangs the hoarding again, and shouts “I’m not
standing, I’m hopping”, getting a laugh from his fellows in yellow and black,
but a slight twitch from the security guard, which once again sends him scuttling
back to safety.
MFC’s first chance is a free kick in a good position on the
edge of the box, and whips up the fans, “COME ON MERSTHAM”, but it comes to nothing,
and crashes against the wall. When the physio has to run on for an injured
player they imitate an ambulance siren, “ne-nor-ne-nor”
On 31 minutes the game finally gets a goal, and it’s gone to
MP and it’s the least they deserve, a far from riveting game, which has one of
the ball boys pitch side on his phone rather than watching the match, is sparked
into life, when a cross once again, finds an MP player unmarked and he hits a
fine shot, back from where it came, across the goal, and it nestles in the
corner on the net.
MFC fans for the first time have gone quiet, only the bang
of the inflatable sticks can be heard, and the “trouble” making fan is nowhere
to be seen.
The MP goal lifts MFC a little and their pace on the left is
stretching the defence, and they are getting behind them with ease. Sadly for
them this is undone quickly when a hand ball in the MFC area results in a
penalty, and the resulting spot kick, is put away with ease. The final moment
of the half is a big shout for an MFC penalty, but he has clearly slipped on
the greasy surface, and the half finishes 2–0.
It’s been an underwhelming 45 minutes, and a drink, and a
bit of shelter from the wind is much in need. “The Cardinals Bar” is hidden behind
the two stands, and is reminiscent of where I used to go to Scouts. A long
hall, with blue carpet floors, a few tables and chairs dotted around the edge,
and a dance floor cut out at one end, replacing the carpet with parquet flooring.
Some children dash about in the open space in the middle of the room, as mainly
MFC fans huddle around tables, mumbling amongst themselves about the first
half.
Consumed by that fuzzy haze you get when you are forced to
drink your half time pint too quickly, and once we found our way back to the
stand, through a warren of pathways, the teams are coming out to the most
ironic of songs, considering the weather, “Walking on sunshine”.
Floodlights illuminate the Independence Day like clouds
rolling in above, and do a great job in highlighting quite how odd the mega
stand, with no one in, is.
MFC nearly score on the break, and start to show a bit of
fight, and this wakes up their fans, and they sing on mass for the first time
since the goal, “COME ON MERSTHAM, COME ON MERSTHAM” MP though are getting all
the vital blocks, and are thwarting MFC attempts to get back in the match.
Almost half an hour into the second half, and the first
glimpse of the MP fans, comes in someone on the opposite side of the ground banging the hoarding, and trying to get a song going. When MP make a sub, and
their fans applaud the player coming off, MFC pipe up with “We forgot that you
were here!”
Unfortunately the game has reverted back to the scrappy, niggly
game just like the first half. MFC players are getting frustrated offer no threat
and it is very stop and start free kicks are being dished out galore.
The old MFC fan is back, and has one last go at getting the
crowd going, and in turn trying to inspire the team, but as things are going
they would need a miracle. I think it has become more about winding up the security
guard than anything else, starting at him as he bangs the metal, “COME ON MERSTHAM”, like a matador and a high viz bull, but the bull is not having any of
it, and doesn’t move a muscle, there is ten minutes to go, and doing anything
now, would just be a waste of time, so he lets the matador prat about.
Things are now moving at half speed, and the game is somewhat
petering out. We have made our way behind the dug outs. The fact they are clear
Perspex, and you can get up so close, it gives them a strange fish bowl feel,
letting you peer in on the players and staff on the bench. Someone on the MP bench
shouts to one of the ambling players, “Bradders liven up”, he turns and with a
grin on his face says “fuck off” and the bench laugh.
A table has been set up, covered in a red table cloth, with the Surrey FA emblem on it, and
the trophy, medals, and a large Children in Need type cheque for the winners.
Once the final whistle goes, they’re not exactly jubilant celebrations,
but MP have deserved the win it never seemed in doubt.
The trophy table is carefully carried on to the pitch followed
by the blazers brigade, who have come down from the stand to present the
trophy. MFC players applaud their fans who have put on a good show tonight, but
perhaps the exploits of the promotion play off had taken it out of them, and today’s
match was one too many.
MFC graciously collect their runners up medals, then its MP’s
turn, one of them has his child in his arms and holds another by the hand, the
trophy for Man Of The Match is presented, and goes to MP number 6 Steve Sutherland.
Flash bulbs go off around us, as the captain lifts the cup,
and then the players pose with their spoils. The grounds man has perhaps tired
of their celebrations, and one set of the huge flood lights go off, plunging us
in to darkness, one player says “They want us out”.
As we leave we can hear the team letting off steam in the
changing room, and both managers are interviewed, both giving their side of the
story.
MP Manager Jim Cooper talks with BBC Surrey on an old fashioned style
microphone, like the ones used when Match of the Day was in black and white. He
must have been posed a question regarding how such a competition is considered by
the club and his reply is clear “we take this Cup very, very seriously”.
We are lucky to grab him for a few words, and I ask him how
the current points deduction to Enfield Town FC, and potential change in league
position into a playoff spot has affected the team, “preparations for the Cup Final
have been distracted, due to the playoff nonsense” but he felt his team had
served him well, and the game was won in the first half.
Considering MP lost this final last year to tonight’s host
team 6-0, it must have been great to get the victory.
It would seem that at whatever level Cups have perhaps lost
the gloss they once did, perhaps because there are too many or the recognition
for winning them has been lost over time, and I’m sure in some people’s eyes, they
are a little more than an unnecessary distraction. However, I feel, as I’m sure
many others do, that they are an integral part of the fabric of footballs tradition,
so I hope they continue to get the respect they deserve.
Congratulations to Metropolitan Police FC, winners of the Surrey Senior
Cup Final 2015.
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